The holiday season is often expected—and described—as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. Yet for many, it can also be a season when grief feels louder and more present. Empty chairs at the table, traditions that have changed, and memories tied to loved ones who are no longer here can make the holidays especially tender.

Grief does not follow a calendar. Even years after a loss, the holidays can reopen emotions we thought we had settled. This is normal. Love doesn’t disappear simply because time has passed. Grief is often love continuing to look for a place to go.

Holding Joy and Sorrow Together

Grief does not need to be hidden for the holidays to be meaningful. In fact, allowing grief to be acknowledged can be one of the most healing gifts you give yourself—and others—during this season.

Grief Is Not the Opposite of Gratitude

There is a quiet pressure during the holidays to “be thankful,” to “stay positive,” or to “focus on the good.” While gratitude is important, it does not cancel grief. You can be thankful and heartbroken at the same time. Grief is not ingratitude—it is love responding to absence and honoring someone who mattered deeply.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Encouraging the grieving process means allowing yourself to:

• Feel sadness without apology
• Step away from traditions that hurt
• Say no to gatherings when needed
• Create new rhythms that feel gentler
• Take breaks from cheer

Your honesty is enough to carry you through the season.

Grief Needs Space, Not Silence

Grief often grows heavier when it is suppressed. Speaking a loved one’s name, sharing memories, or acknowledging the empty space at the table can bring relief rather than pain. When grief is welcomed, it softens.

You might choose to:

• Light a candle in remembrance
• Set aside a quiet moment for reflection
• Write a note or prayer to express your feelings
• Share a story that keeps their memory alive

These simple acts say: You mattered. You still matter. You will always matter.

Children and Grandchildren Grieving During the Holidays

Children especially need permission to grieve. Let them ask questions. Let them feel sadness without rushing them toward happiness.

Teaching children that grief is allowed helps them grow into emotionally healthy adults who know their feelings are safe and valued.

For Those Walking Beside the Grieving

If you are supporting someone who is grieving:

• Listen without trying to fix anything
• Sit with them quietly until they are ready to talk
• Remember important or meaningful dates
• Allow tears without discomfort

Sometimes the greatest comfort is simply saying, “I remember them too.”

Hope Comes Gently

Making space for grief does not mean giving up on hope. It means trusting that healing continues when sorrow is honored. Hope often arrives quietly—not in moments of celebration, but in moments of peace, connection, and rest.

When grief is allowed, love makes room to breathe—and healing can begin.

A Closing Blessing

May you be gentle with yourself this season.
May your grief be honored, not rushed.
May love be remembered without pressure.
And may peace find you, even in the quiet spaces of your journey.

If your memory issues are linked to dementia, the sooner the condition is diagnosed, the better the chance of managing symptoms. Early diagnosis allows for treatments and lifestyle changes that may help maintain cognitive function and improve quality of life. Treatments can vary depending on the type of dementia and the individual, but they may include medications, therapies, and lifestyle modifications.

While a dementia diagnosis can be overwhelming, it’s important to remember that many people live fulfilling lives for years after their diagnosis. Early intervention and support can make a significant difference.

Moving Forward: Follow-Up and Ongoing Support

Memory loss and cognitive decline can be complex, and it may require more than one visit to get to the bottom of what’s happening. If you don’t get clear answers or a treatment plan during your first visit, don’t hesitate to ask for follow-up appointments or a referral to a specialist. It’s important to stay engaged in the process and be proactive about your health.

There are numerous support resources available for individuals experiencing memory loss or cognitive decline. Local organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association provide valuable support, information, and resources for managing memory issues. Brain health programs at universities also offer opportunities for research-based interventions and treatments.

Conclusion: Taking Control of Your Memory Health

Addressing memory issues early is the best way to ensure the best possible outcomes. Whether the cause is a treatable condition or a more serious issue, the sooner you address the symptoms, the sooner you can take action. By preparing for your doctor’s appointment, asking the right questions, and following up on next steps, you’ll be well-equipped to navigate the process.

Don’t let memory changes overwhelm you—take control, be proactive, and seek the support you need to improve your health and well-being.

Memory Support Communities: We’re Here to Help

At Providence Point, our Memory Support Communities provide a safe, caring environment for individuals living with dementia. Our trained team offers personalized care and support to help residents live their best lives.

If you or a loved one are experiencing memory changes and want to learn more, contact Karin Gossett at 412-489-3565 or kgossett@providencepoint.org. We’re here to assist you every step of the way.

Fabiana Cheistwer
Wellness Director

It’s not always easy to discuss memory issues, especially if you’re unsure of what’s going on. But being well-prepared for your appointment can help ensure that you cover all the necessary details and get the most out of your visit. Here are some steps you can take to prepare:

1. Keep a Journal of Your Symptoms

One of the best things you can do before seeing your doctor is to keep track of your memory changes. Write down what you’re experiencing in a detailed journal. This will help you paint a clear picture for your doctor and may even reveal patterns or triggers that aren’t immediately obvious.

In your journal, note:

• When the memory issues started (e.g., gradual onset or a sudden change).
• How often you experience memory problems (e.g., daily, weekly, or occasionally).
• Specific examples of memory lapses, such as forgetting names, misplacing items, or forgetting appointments.
• Any other changes, like mood swings, trouble concentrating, or difficulty completing everyday tasks.
• Other symptoms that could be related, such as trouble sleeping, physical health changes, or anxiety.

By keeping detailed notes, you give your doctor a clearer understanding of your symptoms, which can lead to a more accurate diagnosis.

2. Bring a Family Member or Friend

It can be helpful to bring someone along to your appointment who knows you well, such as a family member or close friend. They can offer additional insights into your behavior and symptoms that you may not even be aware of. They can also help keep track of the conversation, so you don’t miss anything important.

This support person can:

• Fill in gaps if you forget to mention certain symptoms.
• Offer observations about changes they’ve noticed in you.
• Help remember what the doctor suggests and take notes on any next steps.

3. Prepare a List of Questions

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed during a doctor’s appointment, so having a list of questions prepared beforehand can help keep the conversation focused and productive. Here are some questions to ask your doctor to help you understand your memory issues:

1. How much memory loss is typical for someone my age, and when should I be concerned?
2. Does this seem like a normal change that comes with aging?
3. Could it be something else, such as a medical condition or medication side effect?
4. How do emotional or mental health conditions impact cognitive function, and should I address these issues?
5. Are there dietary changes or specific foods that could improve memory?
6. What are the early signs of more serious memory issues, such as dementia or Alzheimer’s?
7. Are there any tests or screenings that could help diagnose memory loss, such as a cognitive test or MRI?
8. How can we track my memory changes over time?
9. Should I see a specialist for further evaluation?
10. Are there lifestyle changes I should consider to improve my memory?
11. Are there apps or exercises that could be beneficial for cognitive training?

These questions can help guide the conversation and ensure you cover all your concerns.

What to Expect During Your Appointment

Your doctor will likely ask you a series of questions about your memory issues to better understand your symptoms. They should perform a physical examination to rule out any underlying health conditions that could be contributing to the memory changes. In some cases, they may recommend additional tests, such as:

• Cognitive tests: These tests assess memory, attention, language skills, and problem-solving abilities. They can help determine whether there’s any cognitive decline.
• Blood tests: These can identify issues like vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, or other conditions that may impact memory.
• Imaging tests: An MRI or CT scan can help identify brain abnormalities, such as tumors or areas of damage that could affect memory.
• Neuropsychological assessments: These are more in-depth tests to evaluate memory, reasoning, and other cognitive functions.

Fabiana Cheistwer
Wellness Director

Noticing changes in memory—whether it’s forgetting names, losing track of appointments, or misplacing important items—can be unsettling. Memory issues can be difficult to navigate, and the uncertainty surrounding them can make it harder to take the first step: talking to your doctor.

However, addressing these concerns early is crucial. Memory loss, especially when it interferes with your daily activities, should not be ignored. In many cases, early diagnosis and treatment can improve the outcome and offer options for managing symptoms. The key is to recognize when the memory changes go beyond the normal aging process and seek professional advice as soon as possible.

Why It’s Crucial to Talk to Your Doctor

When memory problems arise, it’s important to understand that memory loss doesn’t automatically mean you have dementia. A variety of health conditions can cause symptoms similar to those seen in dementia, and many of them are treatable. The sooner you can pinpoint the cause, the sooner you can take action.

Some of the conditions that can cause memory loss or cognitive decline include:

• Head injuries: A previous concussion or brain injury may have lingering effects on memory.
• Disorders: Disorders such as Parkinson’s disease or Multiple Sclerosis can cause memory issues.
• Hypothyroidism: An underactive thyroid can impact cognitive function, leading to forgetfulness.
• Vitamin B-12 deficiency: A lack of vitamin B-12 can lead to memory problems and other cognitive difficulties.
• Alcohol use disorder: Chronic alcohol abuse can impair cognitive function and lead to memory loss.
• Mental health conditions: Anxiety, depression, and other emotional health conditions can contribute to forgetfulness and memory problems.
• Sleep disorders: Conditions like sleep apnea or insomnia can interfere with memory and concentration.

While these conditions are not always life-threatening, they can still significantly affect quality of life. That’s why it’s important to seek help from your doctor if you’re experiencing any form of memory trouble. They can help determine whether your memory changes are a sign of something more serious and guide you toward the best possible treatment options.

When Should You Be Concerned?

Many people experience minor memory lapses from time to time, and these can be perfectly normal as we age. There are specific signs that suggest your memory changes may be more than just a normal part of aging.

You should seek medical advice if you experience:

• Increased frequency of memory lapses (e.g., forgetting important dates or appointments).
• Difficulty completing familiar tasks, such as forgetting how to cook a meal you’ve made many times or struggling to navigate your own home.
• Confusion about time or place, such as getting lost in a familiar area or forgetting how you arrived at a location.
• Repetitive behaviors, like asking the same question multiple times or repeating the same story in conversation.
• Mood swings or sudden changes in personality, which may signal deeper emotional or cognitive issues.
• Difficulty understanding visual or spatial information, such as trouble reading or determining distances.
• Withdrawal from social activities or a decline in the ability to function in everyday life.

If you’re noticing any of these signs, don’t delay in discussing them with your doctor. The earlier you address potential cognitive decline, the better the chances of managing or slowing its progression.

Fabiana Cheistwer
Wellness Director